Should I be happy or sad? Part 2

continuing from yesterday's entry....

if u have seen my previous entries, this ms tan may be just taking me as a 2nd bf when her bf not free? or somebody whom she sian then contact? why i say so?

1. coz sometimes i nvr hear from her for months
2. then suddenly ask me out for dinner on v.day, but later on cancelled coz bf meeting her in the end (refer to v.day's entry
3. yesterday, she was having roadshow in northpoint (near my place since i stay in yishun). she was sianed, dun feel like working coz previous kena scolding from boss and anyway yishun's crowd not that great.
4. recently, i became her fake customer because she need to call her customers to inform them of their application status. couldnt reach them, so call me instead.

so am i just a replacement bf or a stupid guy whom she knows she sure can get help from?

am i just someone whom can accompany her when noone else is free to do so?

should i just start ignoring her? i tried at first, but i just control my feelings though. well she call, i be more than eager to help her. am i being used in some ways?

so what should i do now?

Should I be happy or sad?

this afternoon, ms tan called me on my mobile. she doing roadshow at harvey norman northpoint but feeling very bored. So she asked me if i want to go watch movie anot. I suggested final destination 3, and she said ok.

When i went to buy the tickets, the ticket salesperson also saiko me to buy the combo coupon, saying its cheaper then u buy over the counter at the snack bar. So i bought lor. the combo comes with one drink, one popcorn and one icecream. in the end, only me eating, coz ms tan want to eat nachos only but we didnt buy.

anyway the movie is damn gross. so bloody and flying human parts here n there. haha, ms tan was shouting here n there, so funny. so long nvr watch movie with her liao. after that ms tan feel like eating pasta so we went to woodlands to eat pastamania coz yishun got no more good pasta to eat.

eat finish liao, go shop shop abit. ms tan bought a black tee. then we went to civic plaza party world coz ms tan's cousin there. went to kajiao kajiao a while then went back to yishun. this ms tan really know how to eat snake leh, still dun feel like gng back to her booth, keep saying want to cut her hair like guo mei mei. lol. so we went around the saloons in northpoint and yishun central. in the end nvr cut, coz need to rebond hair 1st, not enough time liao.

so went to northpoint food court sit n drink until her knock-off time. then help her keep her booth then she went to take mrt back and i went to take bus back home.

So I spend half a day with her. from 2+ to 9pm. how's the feeling? very good. the feeling was comparable to the happy times we had last time.

what the difference this time? she is not single. she has bf.

so should i feel happy or sad?

to be continued.....

Tmr got test....

took leave today because got to study for my oracle cert test tmr. the other time i took, i didnt study much and miss by a few marks in passing the paper.

what a waste of money, so this time decided to invest one day of leave hehe.

wish me luck ah. will go study liao...

Happy Birthday Shirley

Today is my friend's birthday. So Shirley, I want to wish you a Happy 26th Birthday !!! Wish you always happy and cheerful and be successful in whatever you do !!!

Well, I doubt you will see this post anyway but I still want to say. No matter who are you with now, so long he treats you well and you are happy, I will feel happy for you too.

Although I told myself I have forgotten you, but just now while waiting for you outside SSDC, my heart was racing, just like last time. Haven seen you for like 5 months, ever since I got my birthday present from you. Still remember seeing the tearful you that night. Really feel heartache when i see you sad coz I only want to see the smiling and cheerful you always.

Though we are not fated to be lovers, but I glad we are still good friends. However, there is no doubt in my heart there always be a place just for you, always.

Just now although I wished we had a longer chat, but your house is just too near to SSDC!! So hope can catch dinner with you one of these days when you are not so busy.

Hope you like the bag I bought you. =)


* This post is delicated to Ms. Shirley Tan

Happy Birthday Dad !!!

Today is my dad's 57th birthday. Want to wish him healthy and happy always..

i think that's about all.. Anyway, bought a d24 durian cake for dad from emicakes. Not bad, but v. ex the cake. but so long my dad likes it can liao..

got to go sleep soon. tmr got to go back to work AGAIN. argghhh, y weekends are so short.

Best v.day ever....

this morning went to work as usual. however, on the way to office, stomachache so reach office liao, throw the bag down n rush to bomb the toilet. what a way to start a day.

well, before i knew what i was doing the whole day, its knock off time again. my mother called when i was walking to the mrt. ask me to buy onions again. yesterday buy one too big, she said. want to make those fried onions n garlic, you know, those you put as garnish one?

sure, i said. went to buy the onion and bee hoon also. forgot to mention, she ask me buy also the beehoon. reach home liao and guess what?? this lady, her name is ms tan called. "hey jason, still remember you want to treat me pasta? you free today anot?" hmm, i was thinking, today v.day leh. dun she have to meet her bf for dinner or smthing. Well, unknowingly, i agreed and told i go take a bath and go down to orchard to meet her. initially wanted to jio her bishan j8 only, but she say she want to go walk walk buy thing, so orchard lor.

i took my towel, my underwear, and was about to walk to the bathroom, when my friend, mr johnson called. tok tok abit then told him, "hey bro, i gng for a date (like real) with that lady". of coz he knew who she was. then i quickly ended the call, need to bath leh....

then.... ms tan call my hp again, this time she asked "jason u changed already anot". i tot she gng to scold me again, coz last time i was late when i suppose to meet her and in the end she dun wan meet me liao. i tot this time also same. but instead she said "hmm.. my bf suddenly want to meet for dinner, but usually we dun do v.day one, really dun like my bf like tat leh" "want to join us??" join you? siao bo... so of coz i say "its ok lah, next time bah" "you dun be angry leh" she said. angry for what??? "We still got next time to meet for dinner lah", i said.

ah crap, i should have known this would be coming. anyway my inital plan was to go bowling. so that wad i did. usually i play like shit. but today i make my 2nd investment. i bought a hand guard. if i nvr remember wrongly, my scores are as follows: 80+ 90+ 160 80+ 90+ 140

was quite happy with myself. 1st time ever since i got this new ball that score that high in a single game. the 70 dollars was worth it man.. but becoz i played alone, so was rather tired, throwing one ball after another. the guard was rather effective, but i have yet to master it yet. hopefully i become better n better....


lucky i didnt go orchard to meet her, i wouldnt want to fall back into the pit that i had tried so hard to climb out not long ago.

isnt this a great v.day? i not being sacarastic though, i really mean it.

A Season of Love

Just watch this Korea movie with 2 of my colleagues. I guess those who see this movie title for the first time will think its a love story movie, especially since valentine;s day is today. But it's not. In fact the movie is about 4 sad stories. Somehow, i got affected by the sadness the movie brought. Dunno why also.

Normally, i wouldn;t care much about sad or not, coz im a bo chap person, so-long-i-happy-can-liao person. but from this movie, i feel like we should all appreiate our love ones, and not take them for granted, becoz before you know it, they might be gone, be it gone forever, or gone to others. treasure your love ones before u regret.

Well, movies doesnt always have happy endings. and this movie, 4 sad endings. when i guess i feeling really not so well tonite, becoz normally i dun blog during weekdays. i guess it also got something to do with what i going to say next.

next i want to tok about something else.

I guess most people would experience those inconsiderate people, whose hp goes off in the cinema when watching movie, or those who answer phones or sms as well. I simply dislike those people.

But nvr did i realise, actually i was one of those culprits. My mother called in the middle of the show, and i answered, trying hard to whisper "I watching movie"... Right after the movie when walking out of the cinema, one of my colleague say something which somehow make me feel bad about myself. he said "dun make me tulan of you, answer the phone in the middle of the show, the other time when watching huo yuan chia also". Somehow, i couldnt manage a smile or a reply. was quite shocked instead, coz i nvr realise that actually i often do that.

damn, wad the f*** have i been doing all these times.

Backstabber, are you one?

Sometimes i feel myself like a backstabber. Remember my indo colleague who works in the same teams as me? I always complaint about him to my friends, and other fellow colleagues in other teams. Often or not, making fun of him or bad-mouthing him.

Yes, true that he's not exactly the best team mate to have. Yes, he's weirdo in the way he thinks. Yes, I don't like him.

He and me, we are both contract staff. We work under our direct boss - our team leader. Our team leader, doesnt like my indo colleague, 1st or 2nd day at work; already complained to me about his work attitude. This indo colleague request to change team.

Conclusion, he is on bad terms with our team leader. Whether we get our contracts renewed or promoted, depends alot on our team leader's appraisal. So if team leader doesnt like indo colleague and i on ok terms with team teader means i have higher chance of promotion??

when indo colleague on MC, not around. i change his program becoz i think it should be improved. discuss with team leader, he agrees. am i making things worse for my indo colleague?

if i think in this way, am i indirectly backstabbing? but sometimes just i cant help it. i guess im this kind of self-centered person. work for myself, not for others become my motto unknowingly. can't imagine how it goes on from here.

man are selfish naturally? or am i just trying to make myself feel better?

-_-

haizz, why life's such a bore?

every morning struggle to wake up, squeeze with people in MRT, trying to stay awake and not fall over in the mrt all the way to work. work a few hours go have lunch. lunch eaten go back office. work a few hours then back to squeezing mrt home.

going home always so slow coz forever got people want to get into the mrt which is so full, delaying the train from departing the station. then go back home. eat dinner. watch tv then sleep.

next day the cycle repeats.

weekends..... time seems to pass so fast. wake up in the late mornings, have brunch and slack. soon its dinner time. before you know it, wkend over le.

haizz.. interesting time izznt it?


At work, all the time staring at the screen, programming, debugging, testing. every day the same.

At home, still staring at the com, checking email, msn abit and BLOGGING.



Friends, some missing, some buzy with work, some buzy with bf/gf, some married...

My team leader at work, 30+ i guess, still single, people knock off at 5pm, 7pm is still in office.

i cant imagine myself the same next time...

Colleagues at work, some married with kids, some getting married, some still single and no life like me...


How can i do to make my life more meaningful. seems like im wasting my life away. sometimes feel really lonely. yes, there is family, yes, there are close friends, but there is none who truely understands me.

i need someone who can give me what i lack. somethings missing in my jigsaw life. when and how i can find that somebody.

somebody whom i can look foreward to see after work, meet after work or weekends, talk over the phone to, send sms to. somebody whom i can hold her hands and say i love you, somebody whom i can marry and start a family with. somebody who can stand my lousy living habits, my arrogant tots, my selfish behaviours, my weaknesses. somebody whom look upon me as the pillar of her life, whom i can be grant the responsibility to take care of her for the rest of her life, somebody who i have wonderful kids with, somebody...., somebody..... who's that somebody?

special occasions: birthdays, new years, xmas, v.day, will there be a day whom i can get to celebrate with somebody i love?

Gong xi fa cai

Woof woof!! It's the year of the Dog! How's the new year? Well for me, its almost the same every year.

Try to gamble a bit, but suffer great loss even though i only play a little. woah, luck still haven change for me yet.

Hope things will be better bah.


Guess what, my indo. colleague will be joining another team very soon. didn't expect it to be so soon. But i guess its good news. He went back to indo this week, so my team leader and I had some time looking at his codes, really cant imagine how he can put so many codes in one place. 9k lines of code in a class!!! He simply just copy n paste codes here n there, even though some codes can be reused by passing in parameters into common subs and functions. Haizz, thats how lazy he is.

So hope the user will sign off this phase of the project as soon as posssible. hmm, well which means the next phase of the project will be handled by my team leader n me. Just hope he don't try to change my codes and not tell me again. This just annoys me big time. I wanted to tell him, but dunno how to tell him also.

So this is how fun my work is. Damn boring....

Anyway, so long no BIG problems arise and I get my salary everyt 20th of the mth, the rest just hack care lah, haha...

Next week got to buy toto, the Hongbao toto draw will be next week. Hope I can win one million or more lah.. hhaha wish me luck ah. If i win, i treat u dinner ok? keke