End of July

Tmr will be the last day of July. July, I believed is the worst month of the year for me due to a few reasons. One of the reason is work.

I have a boss that is mad. As a programmer, of coz you will expect some changes to the scope throughout the project, which is normally requested by the users who couldnt make up their mind in the inital stage, or forgot to tell us about certain features that they wanted.

But for my case, its not the users who wanted the change. It's my boss. Worse still, his request involves major change to the system design and the project has already reached the user acceptance test stage.

If he wants me to follow his design, he should have raised all this issues during the inital study stage or during development. Now after months of development, he wants me to make so many changes, simply wasting my time and effort. Such an asshole, that guy.

I had enough, seriously. Workload is high, pay is low. I think its time for me to get another job. I doubt the bank will offer me a package that I think will be worth staying for another year.

Ok, about my dad. He's home and doing well, thank god. We had a really hard time getting him from the ambulance to our house. About 7 of us carried him down from the 6th floor down to the 4th floor where our unit was. Wah, my dad is like a baby elephant leh. haha

life is like a thin piece of string

doctor said my dad could go home next wed. So happy for a few reasons:

1) My dad is recovering well
2) The hospital is a horrible place
3) we got so tired having to go to hospital to and fro


why the hospital is a horrible place, you might ask. when for the past 5 weeks, i seen too many old people suffering there. In fact, one just passed away this afternoon. His bed was just beside my dad's.

so its a horrible place for my dad to stay in.

for this 5 weeks, my poor mum also suffered as she has to go to hospital everyday from early afternoon to night.


but my dad has to buy one of the machine home to help him with his breathing when he sleeps at night. So i hope with this machine, he can sleep better at nite.

.....

la la la la... what should i say for this week? i really no idea.

i blog if i have something to say

why all like this??

maybe becoz of my dad in hospital, recently, i find everything i do in life so meaningless.

looking at the old people laying in the beds in TTSH, somehow i cant help thinking that one day i might be one of them.

i cant imagine by then what would i have become. have i achieved what i want in life? have i live a meaningful life.

wait.... what kind of life is a meaningful life? this i really dunno.

my currently job, i dun dislike it, neither do i like it. what is the next step that i should take. days pass by one after another. have i learnt anything? have i achieve something? its seems time pass really fast.

the other day when i was in a meeting, a boring one. i was looking at the clock on the wall. the second hand is moving so quickly. 1, 2, 3, 4, .... 59, 60. 1 min has pass. what i have done? wasting time in a stupid meeting.

im 25 this year. mid-twenties already. what do i have? nothing proud to mention about. friends getting married, one by one. me? i dun even have a normal friend of the opposite sex that i talk to, so dun even have to tok about girlfriend

my current social circle is so small, yet i have no time to do something about it.

one week = 7 days. mon - fri, morning to evening = work. after work = visit dad in hospital or go home. sat & sun, morning to late evening, visit dad in hospital.

yes, im still worried about my dad. everytime i fear of losing him, but i dunno what to do. i can relax only when he is back to what he was in the past. but now, i cant. sometimes, my mind all blank.

a good example is now. i believe you guys must be wondering what this stupid guy by the name of jason is blogging about. all make no sense.. all in my brain, but nothing is processing. like all jammed there.

although my dad is getting better, but he still has to wear a oxygen mask becoz his breathing is not good. i dunno how long he would be able to get down to walk. his stomach so big, i wonder will there be a day that he can manage to slim down

my dad, he a very hardworking n smart man. work all his life, make a lot of money for us. he achieve alot in his career. but he suffer in health.

so what if one can earn alot of money when u cant enjoy life? maybe my dad enjoy his work. but i really hope he can retire after this. enjoy life abit. be like those happy old man taking care of grandchilden or have kopi at coffee shops, talk with a couple of good old friends. have no worries at all. healthy n strong.

sometimes i feel i failed as a son. i feel like didnt do enough to stop my dad from ruining his health. i feel useless when all i can do now is to look at my dad lying on the hospital all day long and i cant do anything to help. now it seems like all i can do is wait.

Dad please get well soon.

Dad is back to general ward

Today, dad was transferred back to the general ward that he was located when he was first admitted. Looking better today, but he started to ask for this n that, for example food.

We explained that he had to learn to start eating less salty, and less sweet food and get used to it. He got to get rid of his huge stomach. But he's just like a spolit kid. Throw temper n talk rubblish. Make my auntie, my mum and I so fustrated.

Why doesn't he learn after he had gone through so much? We almost lost him and thank god, he recovered, but why doesn't he realise that all this is because of his previous lifestyle which he must now change in order not to let history repeats itself.

So headache u know, I really dont know how to make him understand.

He's still the same. Doesn't listen to anyone. He thinks he is his own doctor. All our efforts, our worries, he just cast it all aside. My poor mum, got to put up with all his nonsense. I try my best to help. My brothers and relatives too.

But most importantly, he must first help himself. If not, I fear for the worse.

Some fotos.

1) Taken with meizhen and the rest of my development team in our office on meizhen's last day. The one in blue on the left is our team leader.



2) Taken with meizhen on her last day.





Today, dad's looking really good. The doc even say he will be able to transfer to the general ward. That's really good news. =)


Extra: Added links to Jolin's blog and Rainie's blog

Thank God

Thank god my dad doing well now. The doc says he can eat n drink now, but got to be on strict diet, meaning not able to eat everything he wants.

But my dad, being a impatient man, keeps on asking for water, and wanting to eat this n eat that, giving a lot of trouble to the nurses.

But I really feel alot more relaxed. Most importantly he is is much alright now.